...and a Happy New Year

We had a most enjoyable Christmas.

On Saturday we woke up to what might be the Ugandan equivalent to a White Christmas – not snow but a white mist hovering over the field behind our house.



And Santa had left presents around our Christmas Tree – although it might look just like an old margarine tub. That’s because one of the presents Malcolm had for his birthday was a grow your own Christmas Tree from seeds which promised that in 3 weeks the tree would be 4 inches tall!!! Just add water and watch it grow!! Unfortunately the ‘manufacturer’ hadn’t reckoned on Africa – we still live in hope.


Following the service at the Cathedral we went for Christmas lunch at Jenny’s. The ‘luxury’ meat was chicken (as Turkey’s are almost unheard of here) with all home grown vegetables followed by trifle and cheesecake.


Two weeks ago we mentioned there would be a nativity play which starred a bat. This was presented at the Cathedral on Sunday. The lonely bat lived in the stable where Jesus was born. Because of Jesus he was no longer lonely so went to find other people (including the sun, the moon and shepherds) to meet Jesus. Only a slight 'enhancement' to the Gospels.

After that we had Christmas tea at a friends, Judith. One of her skills is cooking so we had all the Christmas fayre – cold meat salad, mince pies, Christmas Cake, Trifle, flapjack ……..



Apart from that we have had a quiet week, although Malcolm has come down with a bit of a cold and we think Irene must have caught a Nairobi Fly in her elbow as she has developed a nasty looking scabby rash. (see blog of 26th November – the bodies of these flies contain an acidic fluid which burns skin). She is slowly recovering.
The ‘sign’ this week is actually a woven mat at Judith’s house. We think it should read ‘I wish you Peace and Joy, except the ‘J’ has become ‘L’.


So our seasonal greeting is too: ‘We wish all our friends Peace and Loy .... And a Happy New Year’

You know you live in Africa when….

… a crowd standing outside a shop doesn’t mean the shop has a sale, but a television.

… instead of suntan lotion shops sell ‘Fairness Cream’ to make your skin lighter.

It's Christmas!!!!!

Well, almost.

As we write this on Christmas Eve night we are in the middle of a heavy thunder storm. Near the equator we knew there was never any hope of a white Christmas, but the weather is trying its best to make it seem like England as there are hailstones falling as well.

It has been unusual getting accustomed to a different sort of Christmas for us. The weather has been getting hotter, and there has been minimal signs in the town that it’s Christmas with few if any decorations. One or two more shops have started playing Christmas music in the last week, and there has been the occasional Christmas tree in tourist hotels but that's more or less it.

The last office day at the Diocese was Tuesday, and that was the day the office tree was installed and decorated. Malcolm was quite relieved that it hadn’t been there for a week or so. This is because when the lights are turned on a tinny electronic version of ‘We wish you a Merry Christmas’ is continually played, over and over and over. Any more than a few hours and he might have been forced to bring a hammer to work!!!!






The last working day also meant lunch together. Although this did not include traditional Christmas fare (i.e. turkey, sprouts, mince-pies) it was a very pleasant sausage casserole and a range of vegetables.



We are not the only ones tucking in. As you see some cheeky birds have been pinching the peas in our garden – its been a race to see which of us gets them first.







The closure of the Diocese offices has not meant we have stopped working! On Wednesday Malcolm spent the day doing the books at Potters Village. This meant he was unable to goto a rally in Kisoro attended by the country’s President – not that he would have gone as we won’t be involved in next February’s elections. Since then Irene has been making Christmas presents for friends here, and Malcolm has been doing some painting outside – he just finished touching up the emulsion before the current storm. Shame!! He also found time to put up some decorations our daughter sent him for his birthday earlier this year.


The ‘sign’ this week is unusual for Uganda. A couple of weeks ago a team of men turned up in town to dig up some small potholes in the main roads. They’ve done a good job, deepening the holes considerably and squaring them up ready to be filled. Unfortunately there is no sign that they are about to be filled. One did originally have a row of stones marking it out, we assume to warn motorists. This is highly unusual as potholes are normally left unmarked to surprise the unwary motorist. However, the stones have long since gone and motorists now have the excitement of trying to avoid the man-made ravines / water holes!!!

Finally, we wish all of you a relaxing Christmas and a very happy New Year.

You know you live in Africa when….

… whilst outside painting your door children from the school across the road shout for about 20 minutes ‘Mzungu, Mzungu. How are you?’ even after you’ve given up repeatedly replying “I’m fine; I'm fine”

… ripe oranges have pips – and are green

The Build Up to Christmas?

To repeat our opening comment from last week:

‘We continue to be amazed by African resilience.’.

This time it is how long they (including children) will stay for a church service.

Last Sunday we returned for a service at Mabungo church, where a few weeks ago Jenny presented a drum (see blog of 19th November). It wasn’t the service itself that was particularly long – about 2 hours (partly explained by the baptism of several children and an adult) but it was followed by talks by 3 parliamentary candidates. The national elections are in February and it is customary here for candidates to be able to present themselves in church. That took about an hour. This was followed by the auctioning of items given in the offertory instead of money – including 2 large squashes and 4 chickens – live. We were a bit limited as we didn’t understand the language but it was clear the auctioneer was a bit of a comic and the congregation enjoyed the 45 minute event!

We are pleased to report that Christmas is slowly arriving – we mainly know this because there are a lot more people in town as students return from school and families come home from Kampala etc. However, apart from one music shop which was playing one day ‘O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree’ very loudly, the only other sign is that the ‘supermarkets’ are getting low on some items like cornflakes as more is needed to feed the extra visitors. Apart from that it is getting hotter and hotter as the rains have slowed down – it almost feels like the sort of weather you would expect in Africa.

Malcolm continues to potter around with DIY – this week installing exterior lights. This did involve using a ladder (he’s not very good with heights) and at one point an ’extension ladder’ which Irene called ‘not very sensible’ - he can’t think why. He also discovered that the electrician who had installed some new sockets when we first arrived had, in one of them, swopped the live and neutral wires. We are surprised our electronic equipment still works!

He continues to work a day a week helping the manager of Potters Village with the book-keeping. This week Jan (or Yan?), the manager of the Travellers Rest Hotel, brought some visitors to look around whilst Jan took the opportunity to play with the eldest boy there, Pius.

Irene is helping to make costumes for the Nativity Play at the Cathedral on 26th December. For some reason one of the characters is a bat. We can’t remember Dracula being mentioned in the Gospels – we wait and see.

This week’s sign comes from a shop in Kisoro – we now know where to go if we want to dig foundations!!

You know you live in Africa when...

… you get sunburnt walking to the market to buy food for Christmas

… you open the electric meter box to check the reading and a lizard looks back at you from inside

The Bishop's back in Town

We continue to be amazed by African resilience.

If we had just arrived from a 9 hour flight from England to Kampala, and then, after a days rest, had completed an 9 hour drive from Kampala to Kisoro, I think the last thing we would want to do is entertain about 30 guests for the evening. Bed, or failing that, to relax would be on my mind. But this is Africa where it is important to make sure that you welcome people properly, especially someone of importance.

On Thursday evening the Bishop and his wife arrived back in Kisoro after spending 6 weeks touring England. As soon as they arrived we met them for a cup of tea in his office, and then moved up to their house where about 30 people from the office, clergy and friends stayed for about 4 hours hearing, over a meal and speeches of welcome, of their experiences in England. They spoke of the people and friends they had met, and, surprise surprise, the snow.

Apart from that its been a fairly quiet week. On Sunday we visited, with Jenny, another Parish church – this one actually an ‘Archdeaconry’ which meant it was a bit grander than a normal parish church with a large congregation – so large in fact that, as we were sitting in the front row we felt rather squashed and pressed in when the children and people came forward, to be prayed for as they went too Sunday School, to give to their offerings and later for communion.

It was a longish service – about 3 hours so Malcolm did leave part way through for a bit of a breather and to try and discourage the children from climbing all over the car.



Irene has been doing a lot of sewing for Potter’s Village baby home, and on her own dresses. As in Tanzania we seem to have temporarily inherited an electric sewing machine which no-one was able to get going until she arrived. She is getting a bit of a reputation.

Next Monday the Diocese Finance Board meets to consider a number of matters including the budget for 2011 so Malcolm has been busy helping the accountant with some of the background reports.

As for Christmas, it hasn’t arrived here yet. There are no Christmas decorations in the shops, or piped Christmas songs but if you look very, very carefully you might be lucky to find one, or maybe two adverts in the national newspapers decorated with a small picture of holly, or something like that. Other than that, Christmas has not arrived, although we have been warned in a week or so the prices of vegetables will increase as people return to Kisoro from Kampala to stay with their families over the holiday season.

Regarding the nest outside our office the news (bad?) is that it appears that instead of the birds nest we have gained the nest of a rather large flying insect; it looks something like a giant black wasp but a wing span of over an inch. It makes UK flies look puny, I’m afraid.


The signs this week are from a Child Development Centre run by the charity ‘Compassion’ located next to the church we visited last Sunday.



You know you live in Africa when….

… you find yourself staring at white people walking past your office and wondering ‘Who are those Mzungus?’

… the drain in the floor of your ‘wet-room’ shower is higher than the rest of the floor (and even African water only flows down-hill!)

There's excitement - and there's **ExCiTeMeNt**

It’s been fairly exciting here, but nothing like in England!!!!!

First of all we’ve been reading about the snow. Oh dear. And here it’s 'boringly' beginning to get hotter, with the rain reducing. The Bishop from Kisoro and his wife have been visiting the north of England for the past 5 weeks - it will be interesting to hear what they think when they return next week.

But even more exciting than that is we understand the BBC programme we appeared in, To Buy or Not to Buy, was broadcast last Wednesday, and from what we can gather from ‘Facebook’ has caused a bit of a stir amongst family and friends – some laughed until they cried / wet themselves, others covered their faces in embarrassment, others are still trying to avoid watching it. And we don’t know what all the fuss is about as here we can’t see what is, after all, a serious house-hunting programme.

But even more exciting than that - we heard on Saturday that our daughter, Rachel, gave birth to our third grandson Mark – a week or so earlier than planned but very welcome especially as he arrived on Malcolm’s birthday. We hope now that Malcolm will at least remember in future one relative’s birthday!!

Compared to that it has been relatively dull here!

Of course, there was Malcolm’s birthday. He received several presents, including a Christmas emergency relief ‘Food parcel’ with amongst other items mince pies, cake, trifle and Christmas tree (or at least the seeds to grow a Christmas tree). a Sudoku game for the DS and a dictionary for Rufumbira , the local language. He can’t remember how old he is but has been told next year is a ‘big’ birthday – which must mean he will be 21 (again).

On Sunday we took our lives in her hands when we went with Jenny to another village church for a presentation of a prize – only this time to the back of beyond. The rough track we went on to avoid a 'dangerous’ bridge was almost impassable even to a 4 wheel drive vehicle because:
- parts had been washed away by the rain
- there were several steep gradients – almost 45 degrees in places
- part of the road had been undercut leaving a 6 foot deep crater in the middle of the track

We arrived to find the church was about 1 km away from the nearest road, accessed down a valley by a track (made especially for us by the church members) and up the other side.

We then had a very enthusiastic welcome, partly because we were the first white people ever to visit the church., and were served a large lunch after the service.

On the return journey we decided to take the better road but risk the bridge – we made it!!! But nobody but Jenny was in the car when it crossed the bridge – Malcolm had his camera ready just in case she got into difficulties. How thoughtful!

After all that excitement it was a fairly quiet week with one tragedy. We are sorry to report there will not be the patter of tiny claws / wings outside our office as the nest has been abandoned.

After all that excitement, we can’t wait to see what happens next week!!!!

The following signs are at the entrance of a nearby Seseme Girls school and demonstrates again the Government’s up-front approach to tackling AIDS that we mentioned on 29th October.

You know you live in Africa when….

…the gloss paint, which is described on the tin as ‘dry in 6 hours’, is still tacky 4 days and 2 thunderstorms later

… you realise you have discussed seriously how to catch, fry and eat grass-hoppers

Male Anxiety!

Irene has had a bit of a tummy upset this week. We are not sure how she caught it, but she didn’t want much to eat on Thursday. Fortunately these problems are fairly quickly recovered from with a bit of care and attention. Malcolm could tell she was recovering on Friday when she said she fancied some meat for tea. However, he was a bit alarmed when she suggested that he go and buy some of the pieces of goats meat which are barbecued over charcoal at our local ‘chip shop’ – so she had toast and jam instead.

One of our treats, about once a week, is to buy a bag of chips each from the local chip shop. The only similarity with those in England is that they are potato slices fried in oil. However, the chips are cooked in large pans of oil over a charcoal fire in the street, and served in plastic bags along with a portion of cooked cabbage and with a meat sauce. They are very tasty and remarkably free from fat, and at 30p for a large portion are good value.

Another concern for Malcolm this week was the training book-keeping arranged on Thursday for Parish Treasurers. About 40 treasurers and priests arrived and benefited from discussion and presentation not only from Malcolm but also the Diocese Secretary and Treasurer. Unlike some groups we’ve met here who can be reticent in interactive sessions, the 40 or so delegates were very forthcoming and there were lively, productive, exchanges of views.

Friday was the deadline for Malcolm to renew his 90 day visitor’s visa. This involved the short drive to the border to leave the country and then re-enter. Jenny Green took the opportunity of giving Malcolm a lift, and they continued to Kigali in Rwanda to do some Christmas shopping.

Christmas has not yet had any effect on Kisoro, so it was in Kigali that Malcolm saw his first artificial Christmas tree and a (talking) mechanical Father Christmas of the year. He decided he hadn’t missed much. What they both enjoyed was lunch of an ‘All Day English Breakfast’ of bacon, sausage, fried egg, baked beans and hash brown – lovely. The last cooked breakfast they will have for some time. Then back to the border where a new visa was successfully granted. Jenny has done the journey on many occasions, and is now on first name terms with immigration and police officers on both sides of the border. Hopefully this will be the last time Malcolm or Irene will need to renew their visas as they expect their applications for two year resident’s permits to be approved soon.

So what else has Malcolm got to be anxious about? Well, Saturday is his birthday, when it is rumoured he will be entering his 60th year – Oh dear!

And, oh yes, he noticed that ‘Nairobi Flies’ are attracted to the lights in the lounge at night. These small ant like insects contain acid in their bodies which burns skin badly if they are squashed. More alarmingly, when he turned the lights off to watch a DVD on his laptop, he noticed they had now been attracted to the light from the screen and were crawling across it.

There is no sound of any new arrivals yet from the nest outside Malcolm and Irene’s office. However, the husband was seen pacing nervously near the nest this week.
The following sign caught our attention because of the name of the Hair Salon. We fully support the need to get ‘Back to the truth of the Bible’, but not sure how it applies to a hair-cut – unless your name happens to be Samson or Delilah. However, we are a bit concerned about at least one of the services on offer.

You know you live in Africa when…

… you use a toilet in an up-market hotel, and find that because the w.c. has been fixed in the centre of the cubicle, it is almost impossible to both close the door and sit down – especially with feet size 11.

… you find out that a ‘Nairobi Fly’, which can burn you with its acid, has no wings and can’t fly

Anyone for cricket?

Last week heralded the arrival of the first of the swarms of crickets. Children could be seen running around with black plastic bags collected them up. Why? Because they could sell them to the shops who then sell them on as a valuable food supply. We have not yet tried them but there is always a first time! (and possibly a last time).

On Sunday we went with Jenny to Mabungo parish church and enjoyed a long traditional service with drums and choirs, with lunch with the vicar afterwards. The church had won the “Family Service Competition” and were presented with a certificate and a rather large drum for the Sunday School to use. We think that maybe the school could meet in the drum; it was pretty big. The children sat around our feet seemed particularly fascinated in us – but this may have been because for some reason Malcolm was wearing one black leather, and one blue suede shoe. Poor old thing - the sun must be getting to him.

In the nick of time Tim Sanders, our Personnel Officer from CMS, arrived on Monday with Jenny and Irene going to meet him in Rwanda and enjoying a shopping expedition and buffet lunch at a “posh” hotel. Irene took the opportunity to renew her visitor’s visa as the 90 days validity was almost up and our work permits have not yet been processed. Malcolm will probably have to make the trip next week to renew his.

On Wednesday we enjoyed another outing, our first visit to Kabale, the closest big (er) town. The journey, through stunningly beautiful countryside and through what is left of the bamboo forest, wasn’t too bumpy as it had tarmac in quite a few places! After having lunch with other Muzungu workers we dropped Tim off. Irene and Jenny then enjoyed buying in better stocked “supermarkets” with Malcolm trailing behind to pay the bill; however he cheered up when he managed to find another bottle of the elusive HP “brown sauce”.

Having picked up 6 gas cylinders the return trip was smoother as the weight helped keep the pick-up on the road, although we had to stop to rearrange the ropes holding them upright when the bumps loosened them.

Malcolm had the privilege of visiting with the auditor from the Anglican Province in Kampala several of the farmers in Nyakabingo who had been given a sheep following training in modern agricultural techniques. Many of their homes were up narrow tracks into the hills where they manage to scrape a living.

Fortunately the land is very fertile with some fields growing in abundance mixed crops of potatoes, maize, cabbages and bananas.

There continues to be a lot of activity around the nest outside our office, although it is difficult to get a good view!

This week’s sign is from Kabale – the shop name appealed to us

You know you live in Africa when….

… you are interviewing someone in her lounge when a hen struts in and jumps up beside you on the sofa

--- you discover a scruffy street child’s entire English vocabulary when you have the following conversation:

Child: ‘How are you?’
Answer ‘I’m fine. How are you?’
Child ‘Five plus five’

You know he will soon master ‘Give’ and ‘me’ and 'money'.

What a shower!

Irene is very happy.

Irene is very, very happy.

Malcolm successfully connected the water heater to the electricity and now she can have a hot shower every (yes every) morning – as long as Malcolm remembers to switch the heater on, of course. As he needed to go back into the loft to make the wiring connections, and he came down looking in the same condition as he did 2 weeks ago, it was in fact Malcolm who had the first hot shower. However, he wanted to include a photo of Irene’s first shower – but the world is probably not ready for this yet.

It has been quite an eventful week. On Sunday we were invited to Judith for a traditional Sunday roast – roast goat - delicious and similar to lamb. Judith has lived in East Africa most of her life and currently cares for Pamella, a young Ugandan girl. Judith’s adopted son runs the local honey cooperative which sells some excellent honey.



On Wednesday Irene gave her final Business Studies lesson for the term. The students were most excited about being given certificates for attending the course. Amos, the Vocational Training Centre manager who has been translating for the past 5 weeks was delighted to be given a Mars bar by way of thanks. Next week the students sit their exams and then the College closes for Christmas and the national elections, reopening next February. Just as well Irene has lots of other things to do including helping out at Potter’s Village babies home.

On Friday Ezra, who is the Administrator at Potter’s Village, needed to visit Nombe, a village on the border with the Congo and about 15 miles from Kisoro – so we went along for the ride with Kristen, a Peace Corp volunteer working at Potter’s . The scenery was once again stunning as we drove carefully along unmade mountain roads.


Nombe overlooks the Democratic Republic of the Congo and the ‘Impenetrable Forest’ where families of Mountain Gorillas live. These are a major tourist attraction for wealthy tourists as a day’s trekking costs $500 a person – about 4 months salary here.



We visited the Nkuringo Gorilla campground (we didn’t see any Gorillas camping though) for a soda (excessively priced at almost 50p a bottle!!!!!) and to find out about their excursions. Irene would like to see the Gorillas, but at $500 she will have to make do with Malcolm. Shame.




When Ezra visited the local school it was us Mzungu's who suddenly became the local attraction with the children.



The signs this week are African road signs. The ‘Men at Work’ sign is fairly conventional. The second sign is typical from what we have seen here and in Tanzania but comes in various forms – sometimes bushes, other times branches and on this occasion a tree trunk. It is very adaptable to what it means - maybe we should suggest that the UK Highways Agency uses it?


You know you live in Africa when….

… you walk gingerly over the sharp, stony paths in your walking boots and realise others are walking bare-footed

… the second time you cook beans, and decide this time to soak them in hot, not cold, water before cooking, you notice little black boiled weevils floating to the surface and realise that you must have eaten them the first time you cooked beans. But you decide it’s not a problem and would have simply meant you had eaten extra protein.