"... and once you've done the impossible, a miracle will do!"

On Friday we went to an Arch Deaconry called Gisorora for our second 3 day Mission.

In England we would expect such an event to be planned, worried and prayed over for several weeks in advance so everyone can be prepared. We did have some warning that there would be some sort of meeting at a school, but it was a bit of a surprise for Irene when she arrived in the morning and was given an hour’s notice that she would be the main speaker at the school. Fair enough:

- How many pupils will there be? 50? 100? – about 1,400!!!
- How old are they ? – From 3 years to 19 years old
- How long should I speak for? – about 2 hours!

Oh, and by the way, before the close can you do an altar call?

You will be pleased to know she managed well. She spent about 45 minutes teaching them a song. Another 45 minutes giving a talk. When she asked those who wanted to commit their lives to Christ to come forward about half the pupils did. In truth she thinks many did so that they could try and touch a Mzungu to see if they feel different. However she was told later that about 30 had made some real commitment.

As for Malcolm he was with a different church, and different school. He was one of 2 presenters at 2 sessions of about 100 pupils each, each session lasting about 40 minutes in total – quite tame really. What was a bit of a surprise is that he decided to speak at one of the sessions about a largely unknown 1970’s American, Christian Rock singer, Larry Norman. It takes all sorts.

We will see what we are asked to do tomorrow.

The other event this week was the Lasagne Party (and not the end of the world party) that we mentioned last week. Why Lasagne? Because it is such a treat here. The only place nearby that sometimes sells lasagne pasta is in Kabale, about 50 miles away, which requires a special journey along a partially unmade road just to see if there is any for sale.

PS to find out about Larry Norman http://www.larrynorman.com/

"So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish"

We understand (according to an American Christian Broadcaster) that tomorrow is the end of the world. So if you are reading this, and about 200 million Christians have disappeared, oh dear...

To be honest, we aren’t taking this prediction too seriously – so we might be in for a surprise. Its going to happen sometime, though no-one knows the hour or the day.

Last weekend we continued to help with the Mission at two separate parishes. Malcolm attended and spoke briefly at two more outside services on Saturday at Mabungo (Mabungo was the first church to be built in Kisoro). The settings for these were almost idyllic. We walked along narrow footpaths to houses set amongst banana trees where the services were hold. About 60 adults, plus the same number of children attended each service, and seemed to have a good time. The sadness was that between the services many went to the funerals of two teenage brothers who died within a few days of each other from an undiagnosed illness.

Irene did more home visiting to talk with church members from Kabindi, and then lead a leadership training session with church and group leaders in the afternoon.

At our respective Sunday morning services each of the 3 Missioners preached (though Malcolm only spoke for about 10 minutes - however he did apologise that the last time he was at the church he was wearing odd shoes (blog of 19th November)). Apparently the congregation are disappointed if only 1 or 2 of the Missioners give a sermon – the services started before the first service at our church in Chesham, England, and finished about 4 hours later, after the second service at Chesham finished. And even the children sat through this fairly quietly.

We have commented before that the only English many children seem to know is "Mzungu! Mzungu! Give me my money". To get to the church on Sunday Malcolm decided to walk as it was only about 40 minutes away. The last 500 yards was up a steep, unmade road and Malcolm passed a teenage boy struggling to push a bicycle with 2 large jerry cans of water tied to it up the hill. Malcolm helped the boy to push the bike up to the top of the hill where the church is. It amused him, however, that just as he was starting to help push the bike at the bottom of the hill, the boy said 'Give me my money'. Malcolm decided that the boy simply said it out of habit - see a white man = ask for money.

Following the Mission we have been pretty weary!!!!!

Some weeks ago we wrote about the potholes in Kisoro town centre (24th December). Since then there has been some work to fill them in, though when it rains some of them get full of water and attract ducks. Birds here are a lot tamer than in Britain. We are not sure why. It may be because there are very few cats so there is less need for them to be nervous. If we leave one of our house doors open we often find some cheeky birds come in to search out any titbits.





If you hadn’t realised, the title of the blog is taken from ‘The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy”, and is what the dolphins say as they escape just before the destruction of earth (to make way for an inter-galactic highway, of course). Another scene from the book is the party held at the end of the Universe. On Saturday we happen to be going to a lasagne party arranged by Ruth and Ellie. This is purely coincidental. Next week we will tell you all about it – if you are still here, of course!

'The Potters' and 'The Citizens'

The Potters.
A new major building project has begun at Potters Village Home for Vulnerable babies. This is to build a new baby unit to accommodate more children and to release the Medical Centre for its intended function to look after sick babies and provide an isolation ward. The work has been able to start as several of the supporting churches in the UK have pledged some of the money required for the project.

What is noticeable here is how many women get involved in heavy building work. They are usually employed to help break rocks, or to move heavy items around. As there are few wheelbarrows this usually means carrying rocks or piles of bricks on their heads!

Andrew from High Wycombe has been working as a carpenter at the Potters Village for 3 weeks, and last Saturday Malcolm took him with a group up the nearby viewpoint overlooking Mutanda Lake. It was a very hot day (a sign that the dry season is approaching) so it was a rather tiring climb. We all had a welcome break at the top.

The Citizens
We have had the chance of meeting several citizens here. We have been asked to help with a 3 day Mission, starting Friday, in one of the Arch Deaconries. There are 35 Parishes involved and each one has its own team from the Parish plus 2 Assistant Missioners from outside, like us. Irene was sent to the main Arch Deaconry Centre and found that she was heavily involved on the first day, being the main speaker of a team visiting the homes of church members who had not been attending recently. This was followed in the afternoon being one of the speakers at a Mission meeting in the church. What is quite unnerving is that the custom here seems to be to tell you what you are doing, and what you are expected to speak on just before the meeting.

Malcolm had it a lot easier. The Parish he helped held an outdoor meeting in the morning in the courtyards of 4 houses set amongst fields of banana trees and beans.

Following lunch a second meeting was held on a roadside attended by a similar number of people and a host of children. As there was a main speaker Malcolm was asked simply to introduce himself, and to make some brief remarks. The morning meeting was the most sad as during the week one of the 12 year old children of the families living in the houses had died following an operation on his throat (for a goitre caused by iodine deficiency?) carried out by a witch doctor. The treatment was to force a stick down the throat until it bled. Apparently it sometimes seems to work (or maybe the goitre clears up on is own), but in this case so damaged the boys throat that he died.

The Mission continues over the weekend.

And talking about Citizens, we have now received our Work Permits - which sort of makes us Citizens or residents of Uganda till April 2014.

Two interesting Ugandan residents that Malcolm met when walking across the local football pitch were a pair of chameleons. Fortunately no-one was plaing football at the time as they would probably have trouble chanking to the colour of the shirts!

We hope that similar creatures aren’t found at Wembley when Stoke City (The Potters) play Manchester City (The Citizens) in the Cup Final this weekend!

Top Guns

Jenny Green is a now a Canon.

This has made Malcolm very confused as he is not sure:

- he thought you had to be dead to be Canonised

- why she is now named after a Japanese manufacturer of digital cameras? Have they sponsored her? (If only!!!!)

Fortunately during the service last Sunday it was explained that a Canon is responsible for running the Cathedral (the name Canon is based on the old name for the Canon of Law) and ‘keeping the Bishop in order’! (And has nothing to do with being canonised i.e. made a saint!). Jenny is one of 4 new Canons to be appointed and we celebrated afterwards with a reception including delicious cakes.

The other significant event this week was that we visited Kisiizi Hospital for 3 days.

Kisiizi is about 80 miles from Kisoro, but takes about 6 hours to get there by public transport and Hospital car. Malcolm was asked to visit the Hospital to discuss the possibility of helping with some of their financial work later this year.

The Hospital is set in a remote rural area of Uganda. It is located at the end of a picturesque mountainous valley at the end of a long, unmade, bumpy road. Because it has its own water driven power station it is said to have the most reliable electricity supply in Uganda. It was founded in 1958, is owned by the Diocese of North Kagezi, has 250 beds with about 300 staff. It provides a wide range of general medical services including maternity, surgical, orthopaedic, paediatric, HIV treatment, psychiatric care, dentistry and eye clinics. Irene was fascinated to see a 2 hour old premature baby weighing just 0.8 kg

Coincidentally, whilst we were there various ‘Top Guns’ came to open the new Operating Theatre. This was funded by St Pauls Anglican Parish, Glenageary in Southern Ireland, so there were visitors from there as well as the Diocese Bishop, a representative of the Irish Ambassador, the Regional District Commissioner (with her personal guard with gun), representative of the Minister of Health and the District Police Commissioner (who had his own gun).

The Irish parish had previously funded the new Maternity and Childrens' wards, and as well as the Theatre they are paying for the training of a new surgeon. Unfortunately, because Ireland has suffered worse financial problems than the UK as a result of the banking crisis it is unlikely that the parish will be able to afford to provide further financial support to the Hospital for the time being. This is an example of the problems that many developing countries will be facing as a result of the financial difficulties of the developed world.

And we all had a piece of cake to celebrate the opening of the theatre!

A Wedding, Umpteen Baptisms and a Funeral

The Royal Wedding has not passed us by completely here. It has been rather nice not having all the palaver that has been in England. Malcolm for one did not miss any of that (although he can still remember what he was doing and wearing when Charles and Diana got married – and it wasn’t watching it!!) Sadly there was one of our regular power cuts during the ceremony. But as soon as the power was restored the computer at Potters Village was turned on so that the English women (Ruth and Ellie) could catch up on most important matters, such as the wedding dress Kate was wearing, and what the bridesmaids looked like. Malcolm concentrated on doing the month’s accounts.

Easter in Uganda is a traditional time for baptising children. On Monday the Rev Victor invited us to the baptism of one of his grandchildren at the Cathedral. Malcolm went (as Irene was continuing her computer training course). The service was in Rufumbira which meant Malcolm did not really understand what was going on (so he spent time ‘entertaining’ a young child, who also did not seem to know what was happening). There were at least 15 babies being baptised, as well as several older children and some adults, so he is still not sure which one was Victor’s grandson. After the ceremony we were invited with about 60 others to a meal in Victor’s pleasant and picturesque garden, which is like a little bit of England.

Unfortunately there has been another murder in Kisoro – the second since we have been here. The Chairman of the Village Council was killed one evening. Apparently he was known as a bit of a drinker and it must have happened while he was out ‘on the Town’. From what we understand he had received threats on his life previously and the police have arrested a number of people for what sounds like a ritualistic killing. The Funeral was held in the Cathedral on Thursday and was well attended (to overflowing), and seemed to last for about 4 hours with many speeches.

The week began and ended with special meals. On Easter Monday the German / Dutch couple working at a local Secondary school, Dieter and Bea, invited us for a special breakfast with home baked bread, jam and cheese – plus some chocolate Easter eggs which went down particularly well with Irene, Ruth and Ellie.

And because there are visitors from High Wycombe the Diocese arranged a special welcome meal. On Saturday Andrew arrived to do some building work at Potters Village for the next 3 weeks. On Thursday his vicar, Simon arrived with Matt to run some training courses for priests for 8 days. As hospitality is very important here they were welcomed with a traditional Ugandan meal on Thursday night with Diocese staff, including us.

So that’s one wedding, umpteen baptisms, a funeral – and 3 special meals. Not bad for a weeks work!

It's a steal - in fact it's a piece of cake!

‘I don’t believe it’ (Victor Meldrew)




In Britain we’d heard of people stealing items of ‘intimate’ clothing from washing lines. This week, it happened to Malcolm. He’d only hung up a pair of socks and some underwear, and when he came back at lunch-time, someone had taken the socks! They had kindly left the clothes pegs. Irene thought that Malcolm had sensibly thrown the socks away as they had holes in. To some people here even old socks are worth taking (but clearly, not an old pair of Malcolm’s pants – surprise, surprise)

Last Sunday was Palm Sunday and the tradition here is that people take a branch of some sort to church to celebrate Jesus’s entry into Jerusalem. Most managed to find a palm leaf or banana tree leaf – all Malcolm could find were some large leaves from some sort of weed. At the correct point in the service the congregation stood to wave their branches (or in Irene’s case, weed).





Because of Easter it’s been a short working week for Malcolm. Irene however, was asked by the Diocese Secretary (the chief Administrator in the office) to arrange on the mornings of Thursday, Saturday and Easter Monday a basic computer skills course for some of the office staff. So, with the assistance of Ruth, one of the short term Volunteers currently at Potters Village, the short course began on Thursday. It went well (which means the almost daily power cut here happened in the afternoon once the training finished).




Malcolm continues to try and bake cakes. Readers may recall his previous failed attempts at coffee cake (see blog of 17th September 2010). This week he was a lot more successful, although it’s amazing what icing will cover up. The only problem is it was good enough to share, which means this time we only had one slice each rather than half a cake. Maybe in future he shouldn’t try so hard!

Riotous Living

On Thursday, the Riot Police came to the Cathedral. About 15 police complete with helmets, shields and batons lined up outside our offices. What had we done? Are Irene’s students revolting? Has Malcolm become violent over a missing paper clip? There has been violence in Kampala. Because of problems in Egypt, Yemen, Libya etc the Government has banned groups of people forming to protest. This has angered the opposition parties. They therefore arranged, on Monday and Thursday, a ‘Walk to Work’ day to protest about rising prices, such as petrol. The argument being that they are not breaking the law as they are not meeting but moving. However, the police have taken a firm line, including the use of rubber bullets, managing to ‘shoot’ the main opposition leader, Dr Besigye, in the hand. (Photo from Daily Monitor,Uganda).

So why Riot Police in Kisoro? Our guess is that because young people tend to support the opposition to the Government, the Police wanted to show the neighbouring (all girl) secondary school that they are prepared to take serious action if necessary.




The week had its own tragedy here. Sadly another baby died at Potters Village. Last week we mentioned that one of the babies may go for eye surgery in a month’s time. It would have actually been Moses, a 9 month old baby. However, he had been poorly and on Saturday he deteriorated rapidly and was diagnosed with a hole in the heart. He died that night. To make it even more traumatic for Jenny, when she took the body to a distant village for burial alongside his mother, the grandparents wanted to include pagan ritual within a Christian Service, which is not acceptable. As the child was legally in the care of the Potters Village eventually it was agreed that the pagan rituals would not be carried out. Meanwhile, we looked after her children, taking them out for lunch and then teaching Hannah how to play chess.

Malcolm made his last visit to audit Parish churches when he went to Kabindi, at the foot of the tallest nearby volcano, Muhabura (after which the Diocese is named) and next to the local secondary school. Irene set an end of year test for her computer students who have now gone home for Easter to recover.

PS. Readers will realise how deprived we are here in the wilds of darkest Africa, suffering hardships beyond description!!! We have become accustomed to daily eating fresh scones (which Malcolm makes) with clotted cream (which Irene skims from the top of our milk). No chance of losing weight then!!!

PPS We had a bit of excitement on Friday – 3 parcels from England. 2 were posted at the start of March, and 1 on 24th January – so that only took almost 3 months. Irene has received her Mother’s Day cards – and we have some Easter cards!!!!!